Anticipation happens when desire is intensified to a point where nothing will do but to give yourself over completely to its will, yet you hesitate fearing the worst while hoping for the best.
It is this moment, between wanting and having, I live in a state I wish would last forever.
My breaths come quickly, my heart races so fast, so hard, I fear it will burst and what I want so much will dissolve instantly leaving me forever in a state of unfulfilled desire.
This is what I live for: when destiny beckons, I close my eyes and can taste it on my lips.
This is what I need: to give myself over to fate and hope it will catch me in its arms.
This is what I fear: that it won’t, and I will fall, never to rise again.
© J.C. Montgomery 2009
Inspired by Cafe Writing’s May/June Project, Option Two: Timed Writing.
We were to “take seven minutes and write on the subject of anticipation. I know it's not much for seven minutes, but I seemed to have done more thinking than writing.
3 comments:
and the moments in life where there is no anticipation,, only desire can be grueling....
I think you've captured the agony and ecsatsy of anticipation just beautifully. Well done :)
great meditation on "anticipation". "This is what I need: to give myself over to fate and hope it will catch me in its arms." I imagine the leap of faith is what anticipation is like and what I was reminded of when I read the Winnie the Pooh quote.
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